Kevin Smith's TUSK Movie Review

"Never say 'Hitler' in an airport."

Yes, this is another horror film by Kevin Smith, the Clerks guy. We gotta get that outta the way first. Smith has been hit and miss for some throughout his career, with many pointing at his output of recent years and feeling like he has been more miss than hit. However, his first horror film Red State was a pretty effective, tense little curiosity that could have been one of the most important horror films ever made with a stronger third act. It remains thoroughly watchable, with only a few of the "Smithisms" tossed in that may have made parts of the film distracting from the whole.

Unfortunately, Tusk does not escape the Smith agenda so easily unfazed. There is very little chance of forgetting that you're essentially watching a Kevin Smith film, because it is equipped with (some would say burdened by) a lot of the unrealistic but mostly entertaining Kevin Smith dialogue all throughout. By the time we get to a sequence in which Justin Long inexplicably does his best Jason Mewes impression in the home of an older gentleman that he just met moments before, we are firmly entrenched in An Evening With Kevin Smith territory, for better or for worse.

For starters, if you have any idea of what you probably think this movie is about, you are absolutely correct. There is likely not much chance of spoiling this film by revealing the plot as it were, because Smith and fellow podcaster Scott Mosier literally mapped the entire film out, ending and all, in an episode of SModcast months before the film came to fruition. Still, I'll try to avoid spoiling it for the two or three people who might be interested in seeing it that genuinely cannot figure out what is going to happen.

Since the film is less of an unfolding story than an exercise in the inevitable, the beef of the movie is in the trip of getting to the point. It succeeds in giving us enough backstory to be interested in seeing what happens with podcaster Wallace (played by Long) and why we should care. Truth be told, the podcasts we're shown with Long and his partner, former Sixth Sense prodigy Haley Joel Osment (he's all growns up), are less believable than the dialogue. Osment spends most of his podcast screen time laughing uproariously at Long's somewhat unfunny, er, podcasting, which is kind of a shame because when he does get good lines, he delivers them with a strangely Jeff Anderson-like cadence.

Still, Long and Osment do play well off each other and it is easy to see them as two fairly close people who spend a decent amount of time together. This is crucial for setting up another plot point (one that, again, most anyone who has ever seen a movie before will probably see coming) that is somewhat integral later on.

Long story short, the wildly unlikable Wallace goes to Canada to interview in person the star of a particularly...unfortunate viral video that has been making the rounds. Incidentally, this also includes the only really good joke evolving from the super stupid name of the boys' podcast in which the WAAAAY over the top airport clerk advises Long, "Never say 'Hitler' in an airport".

Once in Canada, one thing leads to another, and Long meets the REAL star of this film, Michael Parks, in the second of his jaw-droppingly amazing performances in Smith films (the first being Red State). Parks is every kind of special and makes the entire film worth watching, whether the rest of it appeals to you or not. I guarantee that is the one thing even people who hate Tusk will find themselves admitting, if they are honest at all...Parks is brilliant and should be getting an Oscar nomination for this. However, this is a Kevin Smith film AND a horror movie, two things that send Academy voters running as far away as possible. Which is a shame.

Soooo...the big question...for those who know what the inevitable idea of the film is, how effective is that moment? Hmmm. It's less dark overall than what happens in Red State, oddly enough, probably because that film feels more real...but it's still pretty dang bleak and horrifically messed up. The situation leaves you as a viewer not knowing if you should root for Long's character to live or die...it's THAT messed up. And I hope I didn't say too much there.

Another thing that should be mentioned here is the appearance of the A-listiest of A-list actors (unnamed here) in a puzzlingly bizarre part that gives the film even less grounding in reality. As much good as Smith does in establishing such a weird atmosphere, he almost undoes it with several head scratching scenes in this section that really, really ring false. A lot of this stuff feels like padding, to be honest, and it's really just kind of...boring.

Still, throughout the film's run-time I never found myself losing interest in what would happen with the main characters (as well as Wallace's girlfriend, the lovely Genesis Rodriguez, who is equally as good with the more emotional stuff here as she is awkward with the standard Smith gross-out sexual material), even if I suspected pretty much everything that was going to happen before it did. So what is left? Basking in the insanity that is Michael Parks and shaking your head at the mind of Mr. Smith.

Is this a good movie? Hmmm. I don't know. It tells a story, simply enough. It has some stunning moments. It has some awful moments. It's alternately entertaining, eye-rolling, creepy, freaky, silly and funny. It's never really believable enough to be truly scary, but it should definitely get under your skin. Should you see it? Hmmm. Probably. If nothing else, you've likely never seen anything unfold onscreen like this before, all in all.

Clerks remains one of my ten favorite movies, full disclosure, and I am one of the 18 people who like Jersey Girl. That said, I'm not one of those Smith slappys who thinks he can do no wrong (Copout, anyone?), so there's less bias at play here than you might think. Tusk will probably leave you sitting on the couch wondering what the heck you just watched, which is kind of fun in itself. Smith's forays into the horror genre remain intriguing, even if the end credits revealing Smith and Mosier laughing as hard as they can at the entire premise of Tusk left me feeling as if the whole project was somewhat...disingenuous.

Huh. Did I just make it through the entire review without once saying the word 'walrus'? Yes.